Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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