i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize