i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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