What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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