White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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