You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
