Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
