So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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