how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
