I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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