I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
