Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He felt like a one man threesome
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
