I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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