SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
