What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
