Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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