I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
