do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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