Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
