he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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