Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
