just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
