that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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