I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you inspire me to be a worse person
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
