I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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