So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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