Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you win again, gameday.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
