just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
