I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
