i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
