Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
