Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
