we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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