i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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