NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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