super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
