Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
