I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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