Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
