At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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