So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
