so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Are my feet made of real feet?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
