Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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