just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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