How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
