Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
