Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
