I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
