No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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