I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
