The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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