clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
