She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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