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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.

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• (679): View more from Michigan

  You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.

  (679): View more from Michigan

  You really are best friends.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Yeah, that's a plus.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  My dick looks like crazy bread

  (480): View more from Arizona

  pics are now mandatory

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He keeps bees of course he's weird

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• (516): View more from New York

  mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  all of them.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings

  (801): View more from Utah

  I think incapable of making pants work send help

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• (315): View more from New York

  He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  PSA Do not blow dry your junk.

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