yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
