I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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