OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
