She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
