You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
