Can Purell be used as lube?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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