i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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